On Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the squad hit the jackpot when Captain Raymond Holt came along. He was an excellent, robotic captain who elevated the squad while they simultaneously dragged him down to their level. But the Nine-Nine hasn’t always been as lucky.
Since the show started, other members of the NYPD have filled in as their captain. Two of the worst were The Vulture and C.J., both of whom absolutely did not deserve their promotions or to be in any sort of command position. At least C.J. meant well while The Vulture absolutely did not under any circumstances.
10 C.J.: How He Got His Nickname
When the squad at the Nine-Nine first met C.J., he struggled to tell them how he preferred to be addressed. This was an immediate warning sign of how things were going to be under his command.
His full name was Captain Jason Stanley, but he did not want to be called “Captain.” He finally settled on C.J. which was short for Captain Jason. It’s a ridiculous nickname that he actually requested.
9 THE VULTURE: Cheated On His Delightful Fiance
While Peralta and Santiago were planning their wedding and trying to finalize their venue, they ran into The Vulture. Naturally, he swooped in and stole their dream location right out from under them. It broke Charles’ heart.
That’s when they also discovered that he was also engaged to an incredible woman who he was, of course, cheating on. The Vulture tried to prevent them from telling her who he really was by bribing them with the venue but they still helped her.
8 C.J.: The Bongos
Working in any office space can be difficult, regardless of what profession you’re in. People share spaces which means that people also share sights, smells, and sounds. Add Hitchcock and Scully into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.
C.J. only made things worse with his many hobbies, specifically his love of playing the bongos. Nothing makes a work environment worse than your boss laying into the bongos all day.
7 THE VULTURE: Tried To Poach Amy
When The Vulture was still working for Major Crimes, he actually played a part in attempting to convince Santiago to join their unit. Much to Jake’s surprise, she actually considered the offer for a hot minute.
In the end, she didn’t take the job and decided to stay with the Nine-Nine which was the best call for both her career and her personal life. She and Jake probably would not have gotten married if she left for Major Crimes.
6 C.J.: Barely Knows Where He Is
At any given moment, C.J. had no idea where he was, what time it was, or what he was supposed to be doing. Keep in mind that his job required him to carry a gun loaded with live ammunition.
Calling him incompetent would be in the top ten understatements of all time. How he ended up in any position of authority in the NYPD can only be explained by an ongoing series of clerical errors and/or gross nepotism.
5 THE VULTURE: Knows Exactly What He’s About
Everything that happened to C.J. was by accident as he wasn’t savvy enough to make a plan, let alone successfully implement it. But The Vulture was extremely aware of who he was and what he was about.
He knew exactly what people thought of him, and chose to continue to act the way he did regardless. Being that true to yourself was somewhat admirable, though it would have been preferable if he wasn’t true to being a pile of garbage.
4 C.J.: An Endless Embarrassment
Keeping in mind that the NYPD has more than a few embarrassments to deal with, C.J. was one of the worst. Towards the end of his run with the Nine-Nine, C.J. quite accidentally assisted in stopping a major drug dealer.
This ended up with him giving an embarrassing press conference that cost him his command. It turned out that Captain Holt engineered the whole thing to push C.J. out and get things back to normal.
3 THE VULTURE: Tried To Ruin Jake And Amy’s Relationship
The Vulture was not a fan of anyone at the Nine-Nine, particularly Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago. On more than one occasion, he even tried to ruin their relationship.
Stealing their wedding venue wasn’t cool but he actually ordered them to end their then-new relationship when he was briefly their captain. Holt stepped in and fixed things but it was a petty, vindictive move on The Vulture’s part. That being said, it was on brand.
2 C.J.: Wouldn’t Help Holt And Peralta
When Holt and Peralta ended up in witness protection in Florida for a few months, they needed the help of the Nine-Nine to take down the guy after them. The Squad asked for permission to help their friends but C.J. actually acted like a captain for once and said no.
It was the worst possible time for him to take his job remotely seriously. When they defied him, he even put the entire squad on the night shift as punishment.
1 THE VULTURE: How He Got His Nickname
While it doesn’t come up particularly often, The Vulture’s real name is Keith Pembroke. He got his nickname due to his work in Major Crimes, swooping in to take over cases that were 98% done, “solve” them, and take credit.
To paraphrase The Vulture, the last two percent is the hardest part to get out of the milk which is why it’s left in. That line of thinking is a bad rationalization for doing something terrible. It’s also wildly incorrect.
