After The Hangover turned out to be a smash hit in 2009, it wasn’t a big surprise when Warner Bros greenlit The Hangover Part II. The sequel didn’t do as well as the original financially or critically, yet the film was still considered a box office success.
The Hangover Part II is essentially a copy of the first film, only instead of going to Las Vegas, the gang heads to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. While the film has a lot of the same gags as the first film, The Hangover Part II still has a ton of original lines that are hilarious. Here are the 10 funniest quotes from The Hangover Part II.
10 ‘WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON?!’
One of the most notable additions to the cast of The Hangover series was Crystal the Monkey. In The Hangover Part II, she was a drug-dealing monkey who is stolen by Alan and the gang. A group of drug dealing thugs returns to find Alan and company and demand that their monkey be returned.
After Alan begrudgingly hands over the monkey, Stu and Phil ask the two guys if they know where Teddy is. They say something that can’t be heard, so Phil starts to jog after them. One of the guys turns around and shoots Phil. After going to make sure his friend is ok, Stu screeches, “What the f*** is going on?!”.
9 ‘I DON’T GET IT. IS THIS A MAGIC SHOW?’
As the gang are investigating the disappearance of Stu’s step-brother Teddy, they find themselves at a brothel. The group meets a stripper named Kimmy who instantly recognized Stu and his friends. As she continues to talk, they realize that something isn’t quite right, especially after Kimmy talks about what happened when she had sex with Stu.
She drops her robe to reveal that she is a hermaphrodite saying, “There’s a reason it’s called Bangkok, sweetie.” Alan being utterly confused says, “I don’t get it. Is this a magic show?”. The line was a great way to show how naïve Alan’s mind can be when he doesn’t understand something.
8 ‘IS THERE A LONG JOHN SILVER’S HERE?’
While Phil wanted Stu to just have a bachelor party in Las Vegas like Doug did, Stu wanted to go the extra mile for his fiancé and have their wedding in Thailand. It was an expensive endeavor for everyone who attended the wedding, but most expensive for Stu and Lauren since they were hosting the wedding.
At one of the receptions, Alan introduces himself to Lauren when he asks Stu, “Is there a Long John Silver’s here?” With them being in an exotic country, you would think Alan would want something other than fish from a fast food place, especially when Stu said their wedding food was $200 a plate.
7 ‘MY UNCLE ROGER SAYS HE SAW AN ALBINO POLAR BEAR ONCE’
The first night that the gang arrives in Thailand, Phil convinces one of the hotel workers to let them have a bonfire on the beach. Stu, Phil, Alan, Doug, and Teddy all enjoy a beer on the beach and Alan even brought some marshmallows to roast. Conversations on the beach range from how attractive Teddy’s sister is, to albino polar bears, as Alan explains, “My Uncle Roger says he saw an albino polar bear once.”
Stu questions the validity of Alan’s comment since polar bears are already white, to which Alan responds, “This one was black.” Stu points out that it could have just been a black bear, which Alan blows off saying, “Whatevs.”
6 ‘I WISH MONKEYS COULD SKYPE. MAYBE ONE DAY’
Out of all of the characters that interacted with the monkey, Alan was the closest to the animal. Even when the monkey initially didn’t want anything to do with him, Alan got the monkey to warm up to him. The drug dealers end up taking the monkey back from Alan, Stu, and Phil, but the gang steals the monkey again after Mr. Chow comes back to life.
A high-speed chase quickly begins and the thugs shoot at Mr. Chow’s car. The monkey gets caught in the crossfire, so Alan has no choice but to leave his friend at an animal hospital, light him a cigarette, and say, “I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe someday.”
5 ‘NO, HE SAID HE’S FARTING BECAUSE OF HIS MEDICATION’
In the first film, Stu, Phil, and Alan were shocked when Mr. Chow had the wrong Doug held in his car. The same gag is duplicated for the sequel only this time, the gang go to a prison to pick up Teddy and are instead treated to an old Monk in a wheelchair. Thinking they might be able to get some clues about teddy, they bring him back to his monastery.
Once there, another monk tells the guys to visit the garden of meditation to possibly get an answer to their question. Stu and Phil didn’t understand what the monk said, but Alan says, “No, he said he’s farting because of his medication.”
4 ‘I GUESS WE DON’T DO DESSERT ANYMORE. I DIDN’T GET THAT MEMO’
It’s very clear in The Hangover movies that Alan is very dependent on his mom and dad. He is still living with them, even calling himself a “stay at home son.” The only time we see his parents are at the beginning of the film when Stu, Doug, and Phil go to invite Alan to the wedding.
When Alan is talking to his friends, he rudely tells his mother to come get his plate because he is done eating. She comes into his room a few minutes later and takes his plate away but instead of thanking her, he says, “I guess we don’t do dessert anymore. I didn’t get that memo.” The gang is clearly shocked by his comments, but don’t mention how rude (yet hilarious) he is being.
3 ‘YOU TOTALLY BUTCHERED MY LIFE’
It’s safe to say that Stu is not a fan of Alan. Since Alan drugged them in Vegas, Stu didn’t even want to invite Alan to his wedding in Thailand, but did so as a favor to Doug. Alan once again drugs them in Thailand, and Stu once again sings another song about their journey towards the middle to end of the film.
While Stu sings, “Well we’re livin’ here in Alantown, and he’s driven our lives into the ground,” what’s arguably funnier is the dialogue after the song. Stu ends the song with a verse about shooting Alan and then himself in the face, to which Alan reacts saying, “You totally butchered that song.” Stu then snaps back saying “You totally butchered my life.”
2 ‘HOLLA, CITY OF SQUALA’
While Mr. Chow only had a minor role in The Hangover, he had a much bigger role in The Hangover Part II. After finding Chow laying on the floor of their hotel room, they find out that Alan invited him to the wedding as his plus one. Chow explains that the night before they had texted him wanting to party, so Chow picked them up in his boat and went to Bangkok.
As Chow laughs hysterically, Phil confirms with Chow that they are actually in Bangkok to which he replies, “Holla, City of Squala.” Chow has a lot of funny lines in the film, but this random line is one of his best.
1 ‘I REFUSE TO EAT F***ING CANTALOUPE AT A BACHELOR PARTY’
When Doug and Phil go to IHOP with Stu, they are surprised when Stu tells them that their brunch is the extent of his bachelor party. Stu is understandably hesitant to have a bachelor party since he lost a tooth and got married to an escort when he attended Doug’s bachelor party in Vegas. He even has a napkin over his orange juice so that he doesn’t get drugged again.
The whole conversation is funny, but one of the best lines comes when Phil says, “I refuse to eat f***ing cantaloupe at a bachelor party.” After they wake up in Bangkok, however, Phil probably wished he would have just stuck with the bachelor brunch.
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