From The Fifth Element‘s ZF-1 to Super Mario Bros‘s De-Evolution Gun, some action flicks have had their fair share of silly guns. Similarly, a few movies within the genre incorporate all sorts of over-the-top weapons ranging from Nuclear Man’s nails in Superman IV to Cole Young’s literal ‘plot armor’ in Mortal Kombat.
Such weapons can be categorized as silly mainly in terms of their design and impracticability. Even though these blades, armors, and explosives might appear in movies to excite viewers, they might also draw unexpected laughs. It’s for these reasons that these weapons have gained an infamous reputation.
10 Hand Grenade (Death Race 2000)
In Death Race 2000, the antihero Frankenstein plans to assassinate the U.S. President while engaging in a deadly handshake. It is revealed that he has a small grenade attached to his glove that would get activated once he shakes hands with his adversary. The weapon definitely subverted all notions of hand grenades.
It is silly in the sense that the weapon seems like an excuse for a pun on the word ‘hand grenade’. And despite Frankenstein’s strategies throughout the film’s titular race, it’s only sad that he is willing to kill himself with the hand grenade as his last resort.
9 Oddjob’s Hat (Goldfinger)
Oddjob might be one of the most memorable James Bond henchmen but his weapon of choice is an amusingly bizarre and uncomfortable accessory. He uses his bowler hat to throw at targets and slice their heads off. Be it a human or a statue, the bladed rim of his hat can cut clean through any surface.
The problem with this hat is that it is shown to be intimidating, but Oddjob’s throws come off as unintentionally laughable. It’s stranger to think that a person would even want to subject his own head to such a steel-rimmed hat in the first place.
8 Triple-Blade Sword (The Sword And The Sorcerer)
As it is, The Sword and The Sorcerer is panned as one of the worst fantasy films of all time. So, it wouldn’t come as a surprise that it also boasted of tacky elements such as a sword with three conjoined blades!
This has to be an extremely silly weapon for its sheer pointlessness. The sword adds no tactical advantage or killing efficiency despite having more blades. In fact, it only gets heavier than the average sword. And given how swordfighters need to exhibit their flexibility in the heat of battle, this “triple sword” is an impractical option.
7 Megazord (Power Rangers)
The Megazord has been activated in every Power Rangers movie, including the 2017 reboot. The combination of five different Battle Zords, the Megazord can be understood as a walking weapon of gigantic proportions.
The bulky nature of this robotic amalgamation makes the Megazord largely impractical and is bound to only create more collateral damage. With every step that the Megazord takes, the public property in the vicinity is bound to be damaged. And the titanic physique further limits its agility and reflexes.
6 Steel Teeth (Moonraker)
Moonraker‘s Jaws hardly used a gun to protect himself. As a henchman serving the villain Hugo Drax (although Jaws is arguably a better James Bond villain than his boss), he just relied on his razor-sharp stainless steel teeth.
Jaws’ physique might prove to be threatening but any weapon can take him out before he even gets to use his teeth. Surely, these teeth can come in handy in situations like cutting rope but otherwise, it’s only an unnecessary implement. Before he even attempts to cut through the flesh of his enemy, he might only get shot or stabbed.
5 Glaive (Krull)
The five-pointed Glaive is an ancient symbol that was worn by the Kings of Krull. While it looks suitable enough as a fashion choice, it’s silly and uncomfortable in its weapon form. The Glaive has blades on all five sides, is wielded by the hand, and is capable to cut through solid surfaces, and can even release energy blasts.
The weirdest aspect is its shape, as the warrior is only bound to hurt his own hands while holding a bladed projectile such as this. Every blade in a fantasy-action film at least has a blunt handle that can be grabbed onto. The Glaive removes this possibility and can be held only by one of its sharp sides.
4 Shark Repellent Spray (Batman)
With enough self-aware humor, Adam West’s portrayal of Batman was always supposed to be goofy. So, a silly weapon or two in his armory is intentional unlike some other absurd weapons. But the shark-repellent spray is quite amusing even for Batman’s campy standard in the 60s. While a robotic shark pops out of the water to bite on his leg, Batman puts his spray to good use. The shark instantly falls in the water and explodes.
The very existence of this weapon implies that the caped crusader was always prepared to face a deadly shark and drive it away with a can of spray. It is just iconically bizarre in all senses and is infamously remembered by Batman fans even today.
3 Nuclear Man’s Nails (Superman IV: The Quest For Peace)
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace fights the Kryptonian superhero against Nuclear Man on the rocky surface of Moon. Powered by the Sun, Nuclear Man ends up overpowering Superman and decides to scratch him with his long silver nails for some reason.
These nails are pretty useful given that they can penetrate through Superman’s almost-indestructible skin. His nails can even generate heat to release destructive energy blasts. But the very fact that the mightiest superhero on the planet can be weakened with just a pair of sharp nails makes Nuclear Man’s weapons all the more hilarious.
2 Plot Armor (Mortal Kombat)
Mortal Kombat‘s lead character Cole Young is destined to be a great warrior but his superhuman powers are revealed only in the middle of the film. As his family is threatened by Goro, he suddenly seems to develop a covering of Arcana Gold armor. The armor not only protects his skin but also gives him superhuman strength.
Because of the rushed nature in which this weapon is introduced, Young’s armor was jokingly dubbed as ‘plot armor’. The armor indeed appears with no prior explanation and conveniently makes Young fulfill his destiny as ‘The Chosen One’. Overall, this ‘plot armor’ feels unnecessarily goofy and doesn’t suit the otherwise hyperviolent nature of the film.
1 A Mop (The Toxic Avenger)
The Toxic Avenger is a cult classic in its own right, being ranked as one of the best Troma Horror Movies ever made. The superhero comedy revolves around a janitor who is turned into a hideous mutant who vows to seek revenge on his tormentors. Given his profession, Toxie’s main weapon is his mop!
Despite the grotesque appearance of the titular character, it’s only funny to find him wielding a mop as a murderous weapon. In fact, he doesn’t even use the mop for most of his homicidal work. His hands are enough to unleash bloodshed but as a finishing move, he smothers his victim’s faces with his janitorial tool. In some strange way, it’s quite an interesting weapon, albeit silly without a doubt.
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