When it comes to killing zombies, The Walking Dead is pretty much a how-to guide. The characters on the show have used everything from human bones to chairs to living tigers to kill walkers when necessary, and thank God they have.
Now, audiences are able to realize which weapons would be the best to help them kill zombies, and which would be… Well, completely useless.
10 BEST: Daryl’s Crossbow
Any fan of The Walking Dead who’s worth their salt will tell you that Daryl’s crossbow is one of the best weapons in the entire show, if not the best. A fan favorite, Daryl’s crossbow is known to take out countless walkers in one scene — and it looks incredibly cool while doing it.
Every time Daryl brings out his crossbow, fans know they’re about to see something special, so much so that it’s become a pretty crucial prop for Daryl Dixon cosplays — if you want anyone to know who you are!
9 USELESS: Guns That Don’t Hit Anything
For all the awesome, cool, and inventive weapons used in The Walking Dead, a surprisingly useless weapon is guns. Perhaps because they could be so useful as to render the plot itself useless if the weapons are used properly, but guns are pretty much useless when they come out against walkers.
Weapons are often cocked multiple times for no reason, bullets seem to be endless (but never actually hit anything), and, on multiple memorable occasions, characters who can’t look through the scope of a gun… trying to look anyways. Through their eyepatches.
8 BEST: Lucille
One of the most iconic weapons on the show after Daryl’s crossbow, Negan’s baseball bat Lucille is another familiar sight at cons and in fanart alike. Being a wooden baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, Lucille is both instantly recognizable and incredibly threatening.
When Negan uses Lucille against Abraham and Glenn, bashing their heads in and killing them both, the barbed wire bat left a strong and horrifying impression on audiences of The Walking Dead.
7 USELESS: Shiva
What’s more useless than a weapon that might just not feel like working today? Besides the fact that a tiger is a poor animal to keep in captivity even in normal times with all the food and supplies you could get your hands on, Shiva isn’t exactly the poster child for useful animals.
Though Shiva does protect Ezekiel when necessary, she also needs to be fed an insane amount of food, she needs to be looked after constantly, and she could turn on anyone, Ezekiel included, on a dime. She’s a tiger.
6 BEST: Michonne’s Katanas
Michonne’s katanas are some of the strongest and most powerful weapons in all of The Walking Dead, which is good because Michonne herself is arguably one of the strongest and most powerful weapons in all of The Walking Dead.
When Michonne wields her katanas, no walker is safe; in fact, nobody is safe, period. If you threaten Michonne or her family in any way, you better hope you never find yourself on the business end of one of those bad boys.
5 USELESS: A Chair
Glenn is a master of improvisation, which he proves when Daryl’s cruel brother, Merle Dixon, locks him in a room with a walker. Using only a chair, Glenn is able to destroy the walker and escape. In this scenario, Glenn is actually able to turn the chair into a useful weapon.
However, it’s immediately rendered useless by being destroyed in the process of use, and it could arguably never be used again. As a sustainable, useful weapon, chairs just fall short. Good for Glenn for making it work, though!
4 BEST: T-Dog’s Fireplace Poker
Here’s a blast from the past: remember T-Dog? Even if you don’t remember him as Rick’s right-hand man and the hero who died saving Carol in season three of The Walking Dead, you might just remember T-Dog using a fireplace poker to make his way out of the West Georgia Correctional Facility.
Fireplace poker is actually a really good idea for a weapon, so shout-out to T-Dog for thinking of it. This arm’s-length weapon comes in handy to fight walkers at a distance.
3 USELESS: The Governor’s Machine Gun
Speaking of useless guns, the Governor’s machine gun was pretty much the cream of the crop when it comes to futile, pointless Walking Dead weaponry. It doesn’t help that the Governor was the one wielding the weapon because most weapons become pretty much pointless in the Governor’s hand, but this just harkens back to the aforementioned fact that guns are essentially useless in the universe of The Walking Dead.
Besides being a total waste of bullets that spray everywhere and hit nothing, why even bother? Other people have tigers and machetes and fireplace pokers. Glenn destroyed a walker with a chair. The Governor and his machine gun mean nothing to these people.
2 BEST: Daryl Himself
When it comes to defending yourself on The Walking Dead, what better weapon is there than being completely unable to die? While Michonne is a force to reckon with and Carol is an ever-present threat, Daryl doesn’t exist in the comics universe and is many fans’ absolute favorite character.
Add into the mix Norman Reedus being the coolest guy ever and totally loving his role as Daryl, and Daryl Dixon is pretty much functionally immortal. There’s no better choice than Daryl defending you!
1 USELESS: Closed Doors
Don’t Open, Dead Inside, or Don’t Dead, Open Inside? Audiences who love The Walking Dead — and, truly, even those who don’t love the show — fondly remember the doors at the very beginning of the show warning unsuspecting humans away from walkers. The doors said Don’t Open, Dead Inside, but pretty much looked like they said Don’t Dead, Open Inside, instantly becoming a fan-fave joke.
In all seriousness, though, who were they fooling? What doors would keep walkers back for long? This option is up there with just punch them in the list of most useless weapons.
About The Author
